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Kingdom of Klah

The Royal Kingdom of Klah: a place of mysterious splendor, exotic beasts and curious tales.
Designed, screenprinted and written about by Klah’s Royal Master Artist Nina van der Voorn

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The Royal Kingdom of Klah: a place of mysterious splendor, exotic beasts and curious tales. Designed, screenprinted and written about by Klah's Royal Master Artist Nina van der Voorn

Kingdom of Klah The Boney Birds of Revelry Striped Tee

$85.00

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Some people are very good at life. I do not mean that they have houses that match their briefcases and never wash their whites with a stray red sock, or that they have a five-year-plan in a folder which is in a bookcase, not accidentally stored in the woodpile. I mean that they are at all the gigs and at the front of all the conga lines, have had boombox parties in underwater caves with swarms of raving electric eels, and have watched the sun rise from the tops of mountains, the bottom of lakes, and even from inside the earth’s core. I speak really of the Boney Birds of Revelry, whose  sequinned nests are always impressively strewn with glitter and are often mistaken for giant disco balls. It is considered impossible to keep up with the Boney Birds’ dance moves, which go on for days, take up a lot of space, and occasionally the teeth of unwitting passersby. The birds absorb the energy of joyous revelry like a black leotard left in the sunlight,  and after a good party they often glow in the dark, which in turn leads to more revelry, and fabulous glowing synchronised dancing. They are said to possess ancient powers that cause jovial things to happen at parties – there have been reports of table dancing sloths emerging out of dips, party bags that suddenly contain real parties, and on one memorable night all the guests sprouted resplendent wings, soared upwards into the sky, and danced so hard on on the clouds that one was accidentally burst, and a desert transformed into the sparkliest lake of all time (now home to a large gathering of magpies). The bones the birds wear around their necks and in their party hats symbolise the indestructible spirit but also the transitory, and the duty to celebrate the present, so although they are wild, they are also wise.

100% combed cotton tee (160 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and screenprinted using environmentally friendly, organic inks.

Comes with the Boney Birds of Revelry story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.

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Ships From: New Zealand

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Description

Some people are very good at life. I do not mean that they have houses that match their briefcases and never wash their whites with a stray red sock, or that they have a five-year-plan in a folder which is in a bookcase, not accidentally stored in the woodpile. I mean that they are at all the gigs and at the front of all the conga lines, have had boombox parties in underwater caves with swarms of raving electric eels, and have watched the sun rise from the tops of mountains, the bottom of lakes, and even from inside the earth’s core. I speak really of the Boney Birds of Revelry, whose  sequinned nests are always impressively strewn with glitter and are often mistaken for giant disco balls. It is considered impossible to keep up with the Boney Birds’ dance moves, which go on for days, take up a lot of space, and occasionally the teeth of unwitting passersby. The birds absorb the energy of joyous revelry like a black leotard left in the sunlight,  and after a good party they often glow in the dark, which in turn leads to more revelry, and fabulous glowing synchronised dancing. They are said to possess ancient powers that cause jovial things to happen at parties – there have been reports of table dancing sloths emerging out of dips, party bags that suddenly contain real parties, and on one memorable night all the guests sprouted resplendent wings, soared upwards into the sky, and danced so hard on on the clouds that one was accidentally burst, and a desert transformed into the sparkliest lake of all time (now home to a large gathering of magpies). The bones the birds wear around their necks and in their party hats symbolise the indestructible spirit but also the transitory, and the duty to celebrate the present, so although they are wild, they are also wise.

100% combed cotton tee (160 GSM), produced under ethical working conditions and screenprinted using environmentally friendly, organic inks.

Comes with the Boney Birds of Revelry story-card and the Klah certified seal of authenticity.

Additional information

Weight 0.125 kg
Size

Large, Medium, XXL, XL, Small

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Shipping Rates

Shipping Destination

New Zealand
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The Kingdom of Klah is an island of mysterious splendor, exotic beasts and curious tales, known for many things: their unbeatable walrus-riding team (possibly unbeatable as they are the only country to partake in the sport), their breed of native singing cats, several unusual national dishes such as “fresh fig and lettuce pie” and “eggs with egg jam”, and of course, the splendid natural scenery of the small island nation, from fierce snowcapped mountains to lakes with water and trees with leaves.

Since 2012 they have been releasing Official Royal Garments in celebration of their magnificent country. Each item has been designed and written about by the Kingdom’s Master Artist Nina van der Voorn, who lives halfway between the Kingdom of Klah, an estuary in the top of the South Island, and then sometimes Europe, because three halves make a whole in Klah. “Life is pretty klah-riffic”, she says.

Sir Cecil Slipperfoot has been the Ambassador of Klah for a number of years and is widely known in the Kingdom for his voluminous hair, splendid boots, and for the time he famously won the Klah National High Jump Championships while clad in a bejewelled bearskin. He is passionate about quality cotton garments that are produced in certified ethical conditions, and one day aspires to design and produce a line of cotton head-to-slipper bodysuits, called SLIPPERHEAD. At the moment he has to be satisfied with the quality garments Kingdom of Klah currently provides. “And I am stupendously satisfied with these”, he says.


The Royal Master Artist 

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Terms and Conditions

The Royal Satisfaction Guarantee Wrong size / colour / a wandering eye for another character? Garments purchased from us online may be returned within 28 days of receipt, in exchange for another item of the same value. All exchanges must be unworn and returned in the same condition received in, within 28 days of receipt, including story cards. Buyer pays postage to return, we'll send you your replacement item for free. Please email [email protected] if you require an exchange.

Shipping Policy

Timeframe Many of our treasures are made to order, so please check with us beforehand if you are in a hurry - on your way to a fancy ball perhaps, or being chased by a herd of ferocious, blazing eyed Walgentrotters, who can only be placated by the sight of a Kingdom of Klah Royal Garment. We also live rurally, and try to minimise our trips to the courier. Normally we send things out between 2-10 days after your order is placed.

Return Policy

Quality guarantee Kingdom of Klah stands by the quality of its Official Royal Garments and warrants that it will replace or refund any defects in product brought to its notice within fifteen days after delivery of the Goods to the Buyer. Due to the hand-printed character of the product, each item will by nature be unique in print coverage, colour and print placement. Although the items will not be identical, quality control will still be strictly enforced by Kingdom of Klah. In the event a product is not up to expected standard it will be replaced at no charge, or if this is not possible, a refund will be provided.

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